Did you know that Feb 15th officially kicks off divorce season?  

A quick google search will confirm that.  While we think of Feb 14th as the day of love that gives so many the warm and fuzzies, 24hrs later for many it is the beginning of the end.

Like it or leave it Valentine’s Day is packed with a punch –understanding expectations.  For many these expectations are not met and lead to disappointment.  

Differing expectations arise when we assume we understand what another person wants, or what they expect from us.

Sometimes our assumptions can take us down a road that leads to unhappiness, anger, or frustration.  Sure, Valentine’s Day can hold a lot of meaning for some and not for others.  And that is OK.  The important part is understanding what it means to you AND your partner.  This will help ensure nothing is lost in translation.

So, how do you navigate expectations with your significant other when for some it feels like consumer propaganda and for others the fate of their relationship hangs in the balance? It is simple – get curious.

Whether the relationship is old or new, everyone is feeling busier each day.  This means we are spending more time doing and less time being.  With each other.  Most focus on texting, emails and social media to keep in touch, so couples are having fewer conversations.  This is fewer opportunities to connect and learn about each other.  Rather, we assume and expect that we know everything about our partners and then get angry when we aren’t understood or don’t understand them.  Sound familiar?

We all want to be seen, heard and understood.  

It is our fundamental desire as humans.  So, this Valentine’s Day, regardless of how you feel about it – give yourself the gift of curiosity.  

Take the time to reconnect with your partner, family member or friend.  

Learn something new about them.  

Test an assumption you may be holding onto and see what you discover.  Asking open questions that begin with who, what, where, when and how will allow you to challenge your assumption and gain a deeper understand to learn what is real and what isn’t.  

Try something new, switch it up to create room for new experiences.  

New experiences help you be more present in your relationship.  It is also how you grow, adventure, and connect.

There is nothing sexier than real conversation.  So, in the words of JT, this Valentine’s Day let’s bring sexy back.

Kirsten Siggins

Kirsten Siggins

Co-Founder of The Institute of Curiosity, Co-Author of The Power of Curiosity, Communication Ambassador for Wealthy Woman Warrior™

We specialize in high-quality conversations that build high-quality relationships. That means we help people STOP reacting (to people, emotions, events) and learn to start RESPONDING to engage and inspire others, especially in emotional or high stakes situations.


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