Balancing Giving and Receiving – Building the Foundation For Your Fluency
Everything in nature has a rhythm, an expansion and contraction, an ebb and flow. When we are not moving with these subtle forces, we are stuck. When that back and forth rhythm becomes strained, difficult or even non-existent, pain develops. You aren’t able to move in your life. You notice that opportunities are not available to you. Even when they are, they are short-lived.
Does this subtle interruption in rhythm sound like what happens with stuttering? The rhythm of dysfluent speech varies between flow and blocks, smooth speech and interrupted speech.
Because this natural rhythm is present on a macro scale as well as on a micro scale, when the rhythm is interrupted in any way, all parts, macro and micro, are disturbed.
We know that everything is connected…all parts of your body and mind. And these parts are infused with the energy in your environment.
So any change will impact you, internally and externally.
You know that your stutter effects you internally – emotionally, physically and mentally. You are also very familiar with how your stutter impacts you in your environment.
The ‘Receiving’ Side:
As women, we often give a lot, too much, until there isn’t much left for ourselves. On the other hand, we may have difficulty receiving… anything… a compliment, a gift, some help. Somehow, it just doesn’t feel right when we think about ‘taking’.
Now when we are balanced between giving and receiving, both actions are synchronized and moving in harmony. Naturally, they work best together.
That ‘give and take’ movement resonates with your whole body and mind. You are more calm and relaxed. And this balanced rhythm is foundational to your easy speaking.
Receiving, for women is often very uncomfortable. Let’s look at some common situations that make connecting to ‘receiving’ easy.
Why Getting Better at ‘Receiving’ Increases Your Fluency
Increase Your Awareness For Receiving and Reduce Stress
You’ll Be Surprised at How Easy It Is to ‘Receive’ By:
- relaxing and listening to experiences, ideas and stories of others and not feeling pressured to respond. Being in the mode of just receiving is such a comfortable place to be;
- accepting needed help, even just a bit of help. It is so liberating to feel the combined effort of more than one;
- asking for information. This may feel like you are not in control, but you aren’t expected to know everything. You may be surprised at the information you get, giving you a new and fresh perspective;
- giving another person the opportunity to ‘give’ while letting you ’receive’. You’re offering them the chance to experience the joy of ‘giving’;
- responding to a compliment, with a simple ‘Thank You’ … nothing more.
See how easy it is to ‘receive’…
Now looking at the big picture… that flow of ‘give’ and ‘take’…
Imagine how this natural and synchronized rhythm, or balance, supports your fluency.
Let’s put that flow and balance back into your speech.
Balancing Your Give and Take Cycle For Easy Speaking
With the complex nature of speech production, it makes sense to balance the overall energies of the body and mind first. Reconnect and strengthen the balance of ‘giving and receiving’. Then let that balance contribute to fluent speech production in the way that it is meant to… naturally.
Here Are Some Simple Ways to Practice ‘Receiving’.
- Phone a friend and ask for their help with something they have offered to help you with before, but you declined. Discover how stress relieving this is.
- Actively notice and respond when someone goes out of their way for you, wanting to help you. For example, opening a door, getting you a glass of water. They’ll be happy that you were aware of what they did. You’ll consciously be practicing ‘receiving’.
- Become comfortable showing others what is happening for you on the inside. It is often very different than what you are showing on the outside. You’ll find strength beneath what appears as weakness by exposing the inside.
Practicing and being comfortable ‘receiving’ contributes to the natural cycle of ‘give and receive’ When the cycle is composed of mostly ‘giving ‘and very little ‘receiving’ it is unbalanced, contributing to stress, blocks and struggle.
Being comfortable with ‘receiving’ impacts all of you, including your speech production.
Discover Your Doorway To Easy Speaking Today!
Linda Hurkot is a communication enhancement ambassador for People Who Stutter, specializing in women who stutter. Linda helps professional women who stutter integrate speech into a natural way of communicating with a proprietary program called, The Easy Speaking for Stutterers’ program. You can take a sneak peek inside the training centre where I’m delivering content on communication by clicking here