Are You Feeling The Pain Of Up-Leveling?
Do you wonder if you’re experiencing a ‘mini’ mid-life crisis? All of the sudden, what you want for yourself has drastically changed. You’re finding yourself having thoughts like, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way…” or “Why am I still experiencing this over and over again?” or “What is it going to take for someone to value me?” When these thoughts are dancing in your mind, it’s not necessarily a mini mid-life crisis as much as it’s a tell-tale indicator that you need to up-level. At the end of this blog, you’ll discover 7 thoughts that act as indicators of your up-level progress so you’re going to want to read until the end.
What is an ‘Up-Level’ you might be asking?
An up-level is when your goals and dreams that got you to where you are today, no longer match the goals and dreams you have for tomorrow. It’s a re-evaluation of where you are in life contrasted with where you want to be. The up-level in life and career, also requires an up-level in mindset. It starts because your thoughts are no longer in alignment with your choices and actions. What you were thinking and doing before to get yourself to this stage no longer works and you feel stuck, unfulfilled, undervalued and lost. The joy and passion you once felt for life and your work runs dry and you’re searching for inspiration and motivation. What most are unaware of is that the up-level is a stage that happens to all of us, it’s natural and you need it. It also reoccurs at different phases of life and it can be extremely painful if you don’t have specific mindset tools to help you change the thoughts you’re having. When you reach the up-level phase your thoughts will either work for you or against you, for most it’s the latter. The up-level experience happens whether you plan for it or not and many will mistake it for a ‘crisis’ or ‘time of inner chaos’. It is a stage of discomfort, pain and conflict and yet it is absolutely critical for your growth and progression.
Why ‘Grin & Bear It’ Doesn’t Work For Women Going Through An Up-Level
When women hit the up-level stage many make a critical mistake. They think to themselves, “I’ll just grin and bear it…it’s how I’ve gotten through everything else.” The problem with the mindset translation of “grin and bear it” is that it’s also interpreted as, “I have no control”. When women feel they have no control, fear sets in and does a twizzle on the mind. Instead of experiencing persistence and grit, doomsday and catastrophizing kicks in. Catastrophizing is a word I made up. It’s when women experience a change and immediately revert to the worst possible scenario – “I’m going to be homeless”, “My husband doesn’t love me anymore”, “I’m going to lose it all”, “My child isn’t going to be a successful adult”, “I’m never going to survive this”. These are all specific statements and repetitive examples of catastrophizing I’ve heard, working with countless women clients over the years – all whom feel that they are unique in feeling this way and thinking these thoughts. It’s when a woman is in this mindset that the underlying feeling is steeped in under-appreciation, being under-valued, unheard, unseen and feeling disrespected or invisible. Each of these internal thoughts experienced in the privacy of your own mind are ones that can derail making a choice, taking action and ultimately reaching the potential you are seeking.
Why Persistence & Grit Works For Women Experiencing The Up-Level
I liken persistence and grit to being prolific. Prolific is an adjective; meaning, plentiful, abundant, rich and bounteous. Instead of the ‘grin and bear it’ mentality, adopting a prolific mindset means adopting thoughts and mindset that help you work your way through the up-level and come out on the other side of adversity. Adopting persistence and grit, means shifting your thinking so that no matter what you are faced with, your vision and goal becomes your internal guidance system. You stop worrying about the catastrophe that could happen and you refocus towards the outcome you desire, not the outcome you’re settling for. A prolific mindset helps women adopt persistence and grit so that they are empowered, in control, and choose their path forward.
7 Thoughts That Tell You You’re In “Grin & Bear-It” and Will Keep You Experiencing Pain During Your Up-Level
- In your mind you think to yourself, “I’ll show you I’m good enough – you’ll see what happens when I _________________”
- At night before falling asleep you’re thinking to yourself, “How am I going to afford this? Am I going to go bankrupt? I need to win the lottery.”
- In the morning you think to yourself, “I hate my life….”
- At work you think to yourself, “This is never going to get better or easier.”
- You think that by finding a new job you’ll be more appreciated and valued or by starting a new business it will be your solution.
- You’re waiting for something to come to you and each day you watch for signs or signals from a ‘higher-power’
- You watch everyone else and believe they’re life is better, easier, more exciting than yours.
If any of these are thoughts you’re having, you’re not alone. We’ve never learned how to think through the up-level. But you can and its easier than you think. Today, you can simply start by interrupting the thoughts and simply challenging them. That one interruption can change the trajectory of your up-level significantly. Try it today.
CEO & Founder of Wealthy Woman Warrior™
Andrea created her proprietary mindset training, Power To Thrive™ over 15 years ago. We're now in a time where one's environment is constantly changing and pushing people mentally to their limits - if you don't have tools in place to help you navigate disruption, you simply need to get it. Invest in your mind and your success will follow.
Andrea Carter is on a mission to empower 1 million women to reach their economic potential by 2025. She believes that through collaboration and these 5 pillars women can rise to relevance.